Is your anxiety triggered yet?
Cause mine sure is. Part of that is generated by the fact that I haven’t posted an article around here in two weeks, however the larger part is fuelled by some really big life decisions I’ve got to make that just can’t seem to wrap my head around. Each and every one of them has got risks, each imply having to see my family less (because I’ll be in another city/country), which, obviously, makes me feel really rattled and like I don’t want to do anything. Just keep writing articles from my bed, cuddle my cats and when things get tough, wrap myself in a curvy burrito blanket and pretend I don’t exist. But enough about me. I put together a survival guide for introverts in 2018. We need it.
Just say NO
And not to yourself, in the mirror. No, to other people. I find myself placed in so many awkward, stressful, exhausting or anxiety triggering situations because I can’t say no to people. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, I want to be a good friend, a good person, so it’s really hard for me to say no, especially when I’m being asked for help. If you’re like me, then we really need to learn to say no more and put ourselves first for once.
Get off the self care trend and do it for real
Like every single good thing on Earth, self care has become a trend. I plan on dedicating a full article to what’s bothering me about this soon, however let me just say that self care is not crying in the bathtub with a chocolate cake and then going back to the guy who hurt you. Self care is crying in the bathtub with a chocolate cake, drying your hands on a towel, grabbing the phone & dumping his ass with a text. Real self care means making the choices that will lead you to liking your life, not needing to take a break from it and stress eating. There are a million proper ways to self care, however I really don’t think that ordering a pizza and pretending your problems don’t exist for a few hours does you any good in the long term.
Do things your way to keep your anxiety at bay
Hah. It rhymed (should I start writing poetry?). There are people who tell me it’s incredibly rude to text and not call someone on their birthday. I still always text, because I don’t know what to say, I suck at birthday wishes and talking on the phone, especially with people I don’t know so well, makes me feel really anxious. Only really good friends get The Call. Same goes with arguing, having a difficult conversation – I’d much rather do it via email or text. I don’t care what other people think. They don’t understand what’s it like to have to live with my thoughts and how I feel. Of course, if it’s the case, you can explain. “Hey, doing this makes me feel like I’m breathing through a straw, can we please do it this way?”. But, ultimately, don’t be afraid to do all kinds of things in the manner that is most comfortable to you.
Stop dwelling & overthinking
Do you have any idea how much overthinking is lowering the quality of our lives? I honestly don’t even want to know, because I’d start dwelling on that. Every time after I went through something difficult, drama, a fight, whatever, I sometimes spend even days thinking about it. And I feel that tightness in my stomach all the damn time, all the while (duh) thinking and overthinking how I could’ve handled the situation better, what I could’ve said, etc. When I meet new people, I start from the premise that they don’t like me and sometimes even that they hate me so much that they’re out to get me, to intentionally hurt/fuck me over. Lovely, right? Thank you, overthinking. I would very much like to turn you off in 2018. You do that too.
Tell people you’re an introvert and what that means
People can’t understand what they don’t experience. Or better yet, guess. A very outgoing person cannot imagine what it’s like to be you and me. And it’s not their fault. I think that in order to make our life better, we need to talk more to people about it. Explain that we do not hate people, we’d just rather be alone most of the time. That we need silence and solitude to recharge. That sometimes social situations make us feel really anxious, it’s not that we do not want to hang with our friends. That we’re not all bitches, we’re just moderately bitchy introverts.