Oooh, the “s” word!
Why is it that it’s ok for photos of naked women to be everywhere when it comes to objectifying our bodies to sell something, yet when a woman owns up to her sexuality, or dares to admit that she’s a sexual being, she’s instantly labelled as a whore? Sex is great. We all have sex, or at least masturbate. You know how they say, there are two types of people in the world: people who masturbate and people who lie about it (or was this about peeing in the shower?). So why are women still supposed to be ashamed of it? Sex is still a tabu subject, dared to be approached only in close girlfriend groups. Maybe you’ll say, well, that’s not so bad, right? I mean, some things are supposed to be private. Sure, no one’s saying that your personal sexual encounters should be debated on national television (thing that actually happens with celebrities, for rating), but a general celebration of female sexuality. Why is that important?
1. Celebration = respect
If women were encouraged to celebrate their sexuality, they would no longer be ashamed or embarrassed about it. They would come to terms with their urges and, the most important thing, would know their rights and reinforce their own rules. I have lost the count of how many stories I’ve heard about men who only get themselves off, if their partner hasn’t found a magical way to come after not being properly stimulated, well, sucks to be her. Of course, due to this social
construct, women are somehow feeling ashamed or downright guilty to ask for the guy to get them off too. And that is really unfair. Another thing I dare hint at, that is most definitely in the benefit of both parties, women who are confident in their sexuality are a lot sexier… 😉
2. Celebration = education
Now that I’ve brought men into the discussion, there are men out there who are completely clueless. I’ve met men who didn’t even know what the clitoris was. Really? There are countless articles in women’s magazines about how to please your partner better, I’d really love to see more of those in men’s magazines as well. The moment women’s sexuality becomes less of a tabu subject, there’s a big chance the boys will also learn a thing or two more about our bodies, not just pound pound boob. If you’re in a relationship with a woman and she acts as if she doesn’t know you have a clit, well then I think the problem’s her personality, not her education.
3. Celebration = safety
When we’re talking about sex as the normal thing there is, we also start talking about protection. Sex is fun, but it can also be dangerous, especially if you’re the uterus carrying part. Mostly because uteruses like babies. Besides babies, unprotected sex also leads to many unwanted sexually transmitted diseases. When sex is acknowledged as something everybody does, we’ll also start talking about how they do it and the few things everybody needs to know about protection. Romania is one of the countries with the biggest number of teenage pregnancies (under 16). Teaching young girls (&boys) how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies could literally change the face of our country.
Celebration = self confidence & love
I’ve told you a few weeks ago that I’ve been going through a difficult time, as I’ve gained weight and my self confidence it under attack at times. To be honest, I was kind of scared about shooting in lingerie. Almost terrified, as I felt that there’s no way I could possibly feel sexy in my body, as it is right now. We got to the location, I started posing, I was in a let’s-just-get-this-over-with kind of mindset. A few hours later, right after we finished shooting with the last lingerie set, I realised I was feeling lighter, somehow, at ease. There’s this saying in Romanian that goes, your appetite comes as you eat (pofta vine mancand). It hit me – by the end of the shooting, I really did feel sexy. I felt great in my body and the lingerie sets made me feel like a sexually liberated goddess. Proof that great lingerie and feeling sexy (and great sex) have a real impact on how we feel about ourselves. We all have issues with our bodies and that will always affect out sexual lives. When you embrace them both, ah, it’s magical.
Now that we’ve got to lingerie, I’d like to tell you more about the sets that I’m wearing. Artisans d’Amour is a boutique specialised in sensual lingerie, intimate cosmetics, accessories and toys. Their partners are brands present in several luxury intimate shops all around the world. But, enough with the technicalities, let’s talk about the woman behind it. Estela Velazco is Peruvian and I swear I can feel a little bit of her passion every single time I unwrap an Artisans package. She moved to Europe over 20 years ago and she lived in Switzerland and Germany, where she met her husband, Mihai – and settled in Romania 11 years ago.
It’s only natural that Artisans d’Amour started with a story of love, as that’s what it sells. Love, freedom, empowerment. This is not a boutique you’ll get weird looks, it’s not a place where you’ll get judged. It’s a safe space for your sexuality, if you will. And even though it is mainly addressed to women, it welcomes everybody, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation. Besides having a gorgeous boutique in Timisoara, Estela also set up an online shop, which I encourage you to visit here, shop that discreetly delivers all your naughty choices.
“Pornography has been created by men, for men’s recreation. Women’s place in this industry is mostly in degrading roles.
But things are changing; taboos are being broken. Women are empowering themselves to enjoy their own personal experiences, to explore and express their own sexuality.
This is about every adult woman – despite her size, race, age, sexual orientation – who has the right to enjoy their sexuality and sensuality without sacrificing their femininity and womanhood, without being judged, but actually treated with respect. “
– Estela Velazco
The talk about female sexuality is a very long one. I’ve barely brushed on society trying to tone it down and make us feel ashamed with it, but the ramifications are so much deeper and more serious than that. Some women die because they dare to explore their sexuality. Female virginity has been worshipped for so long in so many cultures, that it reached a near godly status. And I’m saying godly because no one can really tell if a woman is actually a virgin or not – the hymen is just another social construct. In some cultures (even in ours, more or less) even today, the value of a woman is determined by her virginity. And that is wrong on more levels than I know how to count to. You are a sexual being. We all are. You deserve to explore that, to own up to it, to talk about it, to feel good about it. Sex is normal. Kind of the most normal and natural thing there is out there. It’s wonderful, if enjoyed responsibly, with a partner who respects you. However, you must always first and foremost, respect yourself.